[BoxerLady6]

I haven't posted in oh such a long time. or read for that matter.
I am having something that I am having a hard time dealing with. Placing my daughter for adoption is something I have always felt very much at ease with. I didnt place because I didnt think I could find the resources, or because I felt pushed to place or because I thought I wasn't able to parent. I simply didnt have the desire to parent. (and still don't)
When I found myself pregnant I briefly thought of parenting but decided to place rather quickly. I wanted my daughter to have a "normal" life persay. I didnt care if she was in a 1 or 2 parent home, I didnt care what religion they were or where they worked or lived. I was open. I did want her to grow up being able to go to slumber parties, ride her bike down the street and skin her knee, go to school at the same school year after year, catch fireflies and play in the backyard, be able to be a KID. I knew she would not be able to do that with me. I have a crazy life and still do, I worried she would grow up to quickly. I did not want that for her. Her life to this point has been normal, from what I have seen. But as of lately I do not agree with some of the things her parents have her doing. Throwing her into a acting career at a young age. And my mother has told its not my place to not think its right, when I placed her I gave up that right. And yes I understand that, but still these are my feelings and I have a right to feel them?
It's hard for to deal with. I have dealt with everything else fairly well about being a birthmother. But not this. Its hard when the reason you placed your child is turning upside down.