The "Love and Logic" system really works well for us. The book is a little thick to have time to read right now, but there is a simpler shorter version called "Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood" (same authors) for parents of young children. It's an easy read and has good examples. My almost three-year-old responds amazingly well to it, and it worked great for his big sister, too.
Anyway, Good luck! Heh-Heh. Right there with you!
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