[browneyes0707]

I'm loving a lot of these threads lately. Honestly they bring a perspective to the table that for some reason I hadn't seen before, or maybe allow myself to see.

L, I know your story and I share your pain. As a birthparent it's one thing (and I hope I don't offend) when there are conflicts with boundaries and lack of contact when there is other issues to contend with (lack of respect for a-mom, repeated broken promises to the children, etc) that may cause any mother to question contact. But when you ARE respectful and you DO act in a positive manner it is SO HARD to wrap your head around the fact that you are not being treated with that same respect back. YOU know that you are not a threat, your actions convey you are not a threat so why are you being treated as such?

Sometimes it really doesn't have anything to do with us. The same way we feel insecure of our role in our child's life, so does an adoptive mother for the mirror image reason. And that for me has been hard for me to wrap my head around, tho I think I 'm getting better with processing it.

Crick is 110% right in that it is for DD's a mom to own up to, and not to project on you. That to me is where it is so unfair in your situation. In the same manner that your therapist is trying to get you to see her side, I wish there was someone on her side to be trying to help her see yours. Pushing you out of the picture so to speak is not only unfair to you, but so unfair to your DD. And in the end she is the one who will have to answer to DD if she questions the reasons why you were unable to continue to be in her life.

I wish that insight comes to her, and I really hope one day that your relationship works out somehow!