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Landh, I don't know your child's a mom, so obviously I don't know the deal.
Did she struggle with infertility/pg loss? I have to say as an infertile woman, I have suffered my own losses and come from that history of pain. When you finally have a child, you want to say "PHEW!" this is my kid...i"m just like everyone else. I'm normal!!!" Well, the reality is (of course) that adoption is complex and there is I think a certain "selfishness" to wanting to mother "free" of anyone else or any other considerations. I'm not saying it's right...but sometimes it just is. (Just trying to give you a little perspective here....I think it's (obviously) easier to "understand" the pain of birth moms because it's such a palpable loss. But many times a moms come to adoption with their own histories of pain and loss, etc. (not all, obviously). And it can cause insecurities, etc. - - in other words, I bet it has nothing to do with YOU as YOU at all, kwim?).
Good luck. I hope you can come to a good place.
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