shybear - Oh my husband would freak if his bfather called himself "dad". Especially Daddy...
Which brings me to another point...I think MOMMY is a term I would even be MORE uncomfortable with!!
Brown & TGM - I totally get where you are coming from. You don't EVER have to apologize for having these feelings. I also feel guilty for feeling so selfish thinking I knew what I was "getting in to" so to speak. The thing is we have no choice!! They are just feelings and we all have our days of glory and down days. I think the bottom line is mutual respect.
But noone expects you to walk around with the "I'm a birthmother" signs either. Your role is equally important in thier lives!!