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I understand so well!
It's funny when I think of it, because a-mom and I do this dance all the time where we are reassuring eachother by over recognizing eachothers role. She will try to give me credit for some of DD's attributes, and I'll remind her that DD is similar to me also because she was raised in similar positive environment that she created. I'm so afraid sometimes not to offend her by recognizing how much she is like me. I don't want to keep pointing that out,I feel almost like it points out that she is not biological to her, KWIM?
In one e mail that I got, a-mom refered to DD as "our daughter". And me, I immediately think she is referring to "our" as her and her husband! It took me a long time to really get that she meant "our" as me and her. And that is something I'm trying to work out myself, that since we are respectful of one another, it's OK to take some of the credit for DD in a respectful way.
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"I don't know if I could go through it all again
For what's the point if you are never free to say
This is what I believe
This is a part of me
No hero, no regrets
But only meant to be"
-T'Pau 
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