[austin0i]

First let me say this is a great thread.

I am coming from an older perspective, as an adoptee that is now in reunion with her birth mom at 39.

I can tell you I struggled with what to call her. My struggle was not what I felt, but rather what would my mom (amom) would think and feel. I came to the conclusion that my struggle wasn’t about what I wanted, but rather about my consideration for others, specifically my mom (amom). I am not sure that is fair to put on the adoptee.

So, I don’t want to offend the amoms here and I surely do not want to devalue them in anyway. I love my mom with all my heart, but clearly my birth mom is my mom too. I felt an immediate connection to her which I could not deny, it and I knew right away this woman is my mother.

So, I chose to call her mom because I am old enough to understand that I have two moms.

I guess what I am trying to say, from the adoptee perspective there is a birth bond there between mother and child that is instinctual.

I call my birthmother mom, because she feels like mom.

I call my amom mom, because she feels like mom.

Confusing?

Probably, but reality for some adoptees.