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Originally Posted by loveajax
I think sometimes people view adoptive parents as the "winners" in this kind of adoption "game." But a parents have their own insecurities, struggles, etc. (For me, it comes from struggling with infertility and pg loss, etc. for years). I was thinking about the fact I would want no other child except for my DD...I love her with this burning passion...but I do wish sometimes that I had birthed her, kwim? Of course, that's silly, but I think as you say Shoshana a parents have to come to some "peace" that there are other "moms" and "dads" in their kids' lives. It's really hard.
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I totally agree with this!! It's funny because before we were placed with Cooper I SO thought I had come to terms with this. But then the child comes...and it's not just some child in a book..it's YOUR child...and the feelings come...then the fear...then the "momma bear instinct"...then finally your mind and all that research come back to you and you realize WHAT you are feeling and are somewhat prepared to deal with it.
It's just refreshing sometimes to just scream our "I DON'T WANT to share". But then you realize the beauty of it again and how silly you were being and find peace
What's funny is I'm sure bparents feel the same way at times!!