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TGM - To ME, it's not what T says to people she is friends with, aquaintances etc.
It's what she says in our home (around me, around m) that matters. If she were here saying "my son my son my son" That would not go over well.
She has NEVER done that. She does talk about being pregnant with him around us and such - I have no issue with that at all. It's more about the "claiming him and dismissing us" that would bother me.
On the same note - I'd be pretty uncomfortable if I found out that she was telling people (not just the odd stranger that she didn't feel like explaining the story to) that M was her son - as in the son she is parenting. If I started meeting people who thought this - we'd have to have a talk.
I don't think there is anything else you CAN call them. Birthchild works....but I dont see the big deal with a birthmom referring to a child they gave birth to, then placed for adoption as their son/daughter.
THe thing is - as long as there is respect between afamiles and bfamilies, I doubt these things would become an issue for most.
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Leigh
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