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Oh I hear ya loud and clear nat. One of the reasons I'm all for an open adoption (on a selfish level) is because it firmly establishes our roles while I have say in the matter.
M calls his birthmom by her first name. If he does this all his life - I doubt he's going to change to Mom as an adult. Maybe he will - but I doubt it.
I also do not refer to my in laws as mom or dad nor did i call any of my friends parents mom or dad.
I can tell you at this point, M likes his birthmom. I'm thrilled. They have a fun time together. However, they do not have a parentingmother/child relationship so I can honestly say, seeing them together actually reafirms my role of mother...does that make sense?? When he got a bloody nose (after hitting it on her knee) she is not the one who reacted like "the mommy". She was the concerned friend who was sad that it had happened, but that's it.
Does that make sense?
Not to mention I am blessed that m has a very supportive birthfamily when it comes to our role as parents.
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Leigh
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