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I refer to DD's birth mom by her first name and plan to continue to do so (I think DD's birth mom prefers that, though I guess we never officially discussed it). I have sort of the opposite situation in that DD's birth mom seems uncomfortable when I say things like "she is your daugter" or "you are her mom too." I don't know. I don't think I would want DD to call her "mom" but I guess that's her choice (I do call MIL "mom" sometimes so I can see not considering someone a "mom" but calling them mom? doh!).
It may also be that you are thinking about this a lot (as I did) because C is so young. DD just calls me "mama" all the time (she is 27 mos) and I know she can only think really of me as "mama."
Btw, my MIL (who is an a mom) kept saying to SIL (who reunited with her birth mom)...."When you met YOUR MOM..." My SIL was always quick to correct her and say, "Mom, YOU are my MOM...." (always made me cry...I know MIL was insecure about the reunion and it really helped that SIL responded that way).
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