[Lilly's Mommy]

Wow. I'm amazed and relieved to read so many others who struggle with entitlement to parent our children. While our daughter's birth mom has never done anything to undercut us as parents, I almost always wonder if she thinks I'm a good enough mom. I feel like all of my weaknesses are huge and obvious to her. I too wonder and fear sometimes that Lilly will grow up and wish she had only had her first mother.

I never heard any of this before adopting, but I'm glad. It may have scared me out of an open adoption, but that would have been a mistake for us. In our situation (notice I'm not suggesting that this is true for every situation), our OA benefits all of us. The fact that it raises doubts and concerns in me is something I have to work through. I feel like the blessing that my daughter receives from knowing her (wonderful) birth mom is worth some hard work on my part.

Thank you Gottahave for posting this. I think many are helped in knowing that variations of these thoughts are common among adoptive parents.