As most of you know, I'm a bmom in a closed adoption, happily in reunion (well as much as I get!) with
major issues surrounding my parents.
Here's the latest...when I was home and told my mom that I had contact with my birthson she said 'oh, his father had sent a letter after the baby was born apologising.' I was in
shock. Twenty two years later, this is the first I hear of a letter!
I asked, was it apologising to
you or to
me? Because of everyone involved in this I feel like it's me deserving the apology! She didn't remember and offered to look around, thinking she'd hung on to it.
So here we are nearly
four monthslater. I ask about the letter and get 'Oh, I'll look for it'
So I calmly write back (this has been via email). 'Please please please look for this letter, I think it can help in my healing process.'
I just feel like crying. It's just been so weird!I know it's something about her generation with the 'shame' she feels about me or about herself for not taking on my son. They claim they think it's great I'm in contact with him now. Then they say nothing. When I send a picture or ask directly about him they start talking about 'when can we tell people about him?' and 'when can I brag about him?' BUT THEY STILL DO NOT TALK TO ME.
I had a major heart to heart on the phone with my mom 3 months ago, telling her about my pain and how
silence made it harder for me. She's not said anything about that since.
Sorry, needed to vent. Insights, advice ARE WELCOME!
