[SchmennaLeigh]

While this is also an issue in reunion, I would assume, I'm posting in the OA forum because it seems (to me) to be a more in-your-face kind of issue because of the ongoing involvement that husbands and wives of birth parents would have in a fully open adoption.

All that said: what title does your husband/wife have/prefer/use? What does your child call your husband/wife? (Note: this is an applicable conversation for when the husband/wife is not also the first mother/father of the placed child. Otherwise, the titles are obvious.)

I'm aware that many people are going to say, "We don't do a title for the husband/wife; the child just refers to him/her by their first name." That's how we do it as well. But I'm always left wondering why... why not more?

Josh would have been her everyday Dad had things gone differently. He was willing and able to accept that position, title and role. Things didn't work that way. And so, because of my signature, the love he has for the Munchkin is totally eradicated in title form and he's got absolutely nothing to show for the devotion he had to her even before she was born and consistently throughout her life.

Is there a title? Obviously, I'm not going to make the Munchkin refer to him as such when she is comfortable, after years of calling him by his name, calling him Josh. But... I can't help but wonder if he shouldn't be "honored" with a title. One that shows respect for the consistent involvement in her life.

I know others have dealt with this; please discuss.