I am an adoptee and adoptive mother so I have been on 2 sides. I feel that you must make the desicion that is right for your children. If you are talking about adoption for the unborn baby you may need to pick a couple that would be interested in doing an open adoption so that your 20 mnth old would always know where the sibling is and also you can still have contact with the child. An open adoption would also mean that no one would have to look for any one. It can be rewarding. In either case adoption or not make sure you have a good support system.
