Wow how many birthmothers are out there going thru these feelings Quantum. I don't know if its just boys?
I have just finished writing my bdaughter a letter to send with a small gift ( a local movie). She is over the other side of the world at the mo', but will see her this summer.
Emails etc have been pretty sparse of late ( 10 yrs reunion), I know her life is full on playing national sport and I have to keep telling myself...shes really busy!!!
We have never really examined too many emotions around the whole ' adoption thing', it's not really her way, even with amum. I have also been careful not to pass on too much of my 'stuff', coz thats what it is!! My stuff!
This is what I wrote:
1st paragraph ...just saying hi
Have been thinking about you heaps lately and wondering how it is all going.Hope you are staying fighting fit, well and most of all happy.
Always know I am here ( name). ALWAYS. Sometimes I get a little confused about my role in your life and try so hard not to overstep the mark.And sometimes iImiss you so much.
Nothing you could do or say could interfere with how i feel about my firstborn, whether or not I raised you doesnt even enter the equation for me.
Really what I am trying to say is never be hesitant in coming forward. Life chucks some hum dingers at us sometimes, and I want you to know there is always a place here for you to vent, to be, happy or sad!!!
I have been wanting to say this for ages, but as I said earlier sometimes I am afraid of overstepping the mark.
I say this with all my heart...no conditions.
There did it!!!!
( my name)
I haven't sent it yet.That was really hard to write...and going to be hard to post, but I will coz have been thinking about it for ages and ages and ages. Its all soooooo tricky!
susie
