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melissa
I'm sorry for your loss. My heart truly goes out to you. I wish you never had to experience this pain you're feeling. I know birthmothers feel they are missing a limb. I know they feel empty. I am sorry the situations exist that cause birthmothers to have to surrender their babies. I wish all mothers had the power and freedom to choose to keep their babies.
At the same time, please please don't tell adoptees they are in denial or that they are "subconsciously" experiencing a primal wound.
You seem to need to believe that adoptees feel a pain that is similar to a birthmother's pain.
Perhaps you don't want to be alone in your pain, and want to project it onto others.
Perhaps believing in a primal wound helps you to feel important to your child, and all mothers want to feel important to their children. I can see that. I am not blind or hard-hearted
But by telling us that our feelings (or lack of feelings) are wrong, you are infantalizing us, and I find it extremely insulting.
You telling us that we feel something we don't feel is just as insulting as if I were to tell you that you don't feel what you say you feel.
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