[julz12-13]

hello girls!!!
wanted to give you an update. my bd and my family have met. along w/ my parents. its been an amazing journey!! she hasnt met my siblings yet, but has talked to 2 out of 3 on the phone. everyone has been so inviting to her. and she has enjoyed meeting everyone. my children have all been excited to meet her. and we are a young family. my children are bd is 20.5yo, dd 17yo, they are really close and talk every day, then my ds 14yo, and the caboose 3 yo ds. its just such a completeness to have all my children under one roof for even a day. the parents of my bd are so supportive. they have sent me senoir pictures. her mom and i email thru the week. we have not met face to face b/c of busyness of the time of year w/ school getting ready to start. but we plan to in september. i am really looking forward to meeting her parents.
all of her extended family is very supportive and interested in our reunion. she is an only child, but has many aunts,uncles and cousins. her fraternal grandparents are 86 yo. they have had the hardest time w/ it. but its a generational thing. but now they are getting better...i hope to meet them. her parents and gparents all live in town. so it will be possible for all of us to get together.
the most amazing thing that makes this possible is everyone is a Christian. so we have prayed for each other thru the years. even the gmother told my bd, she had been praying for my mom, knowing how hard it must have been to watch me deliver a child she knew she would never see grow up. all this just makes me tear up. even as the gparents have had trouble w/ this, they have prayed for understanding. i think as they see that this is an extention, not taking away their precious gdaughter, it will be an exciting thing for them too.
my bd and i are SOOOO much alike. she looks the most like me of all my children. and we are way too much alike. its easy now that she is grown. i think she and i would have had run ins if i had raised her...LOL!!! she does w/ her own mother..LOL!! i kind of want to apologize to her parents for that genetic trait...LOL!! but they have nurtured all of her personality to allow her to be who she is. and to teach her to love all ppl and use her strengths for good. i am SO happy and proud of that. i know they were the right ppl to be her parents and raise her...more than myself. it amazes me everyday how God's plan is perfect!!!!
i hope as other ppl read this...dont give up hope!!! prayer is what you need for a great reunion. even if you have never prayed before or dont believe in it...or feel why now...just do it!!! PRAY!!!! allow God to take over your situation. He will do the rest. i have had ups and downs in my relationship w/ the Lord. but He has proven faithful. He TRUELY wants to give us the desires of our hearts. i DONT deserve this!!! but He knew this is something i always wanted!!! and now look at how much He has blessed me. i dont even like when ppl say "oh you did such a selfless thing." NO WAY!!! its not about that. it was THE ONE TIME in my whole 41 yrs...i LISTENED to Jesus speaking in my ear and heart. this child belonged to someone else. and i am SO glad i listened. she has been a blessing to many ppl. and now i am be blessed by knowing her. she had a better life w/ TWO ppl who loved more than anything. who couldnt have children. and they did an excellent job in being her parents. she was right for them. its cool to see how someone else raised those same triats i had. b/c my parents, especially my dad, had a hard time handling me. both her dad and mine are pastors. and i'm not jealous or sad aobut that her parents could handle the things my parents couldnt. its just nice to know, someone out there could. it confirms to me, i'm not as bad as my dad sometimes made me feel growing up. this whole experience has been quite the psychological experience. i'm glad too that God prepared my mind and heart to understand alot of things so i dont freak like maybe someone else would. i dont have a problem that i'm not her mom. in fact , she tells me i'm not very maternal w/ her. i think thats alot easier for both of us. but like i said, thats God preparing me for that. she knows i love her like a mom, but i also know she has one, so i dont need to be that. i just keep praying that i can be that way for her.
well thanks for reading "my book" and letting me share!!!