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Thank you everyone for your kind words. My husband has emphatically expressed that he wants to forget his past totally. He has been living with this for so many years now that he has long buried his feelings. The bmom wrote him a letter many years ago informing him of the pregnancy and asking for money for an abortion, which he sent. We lived at the time in another country. She did inform him a few years later that she went ahead with the pregnancy but gave the child up to adoption, never including him in the decision. He has kept this to himself for almost 40 years until a few months ago. He has become extremely upset when I try to speak to him about this. I would love to be able to tell our children that they have a half sibling, but he wants no part of this. When I asked him what he would do if they found out on the internet as I did, he said he would deny that this was him. I have to respect his wishes , he is not in the best of health at the moment, recovering from surgery. I am hoping that over time, he will soften. I know for a fact that this now grown child wants no part of her bmom and that would certainly pertain to him as well. Thank you once again for reading and responding. Just writing about this has helped me immensely.
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