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Bigbertha... please, please know you are free to question and vent all you want. I came back to this thread to tell you that as I thought I may have unintentionally made you feel you couldn't do that. I feel for you and this situation and just wanted to help give you possible answers,not make you feel as if you were wrong, or that you had no right to question why the post is still there. You certainly do have every right to question all you want!
I think most people searching or still hoping for a reunion leave the information so if the other party has a change of heart they know where to look. People get angry, toss out addresses, lose things in moves etc... The bmom probably wants her daughter to see that she never gave up on her.
I know it's way to soon for you to consider this, but as you've seen, secrets have a way of getting out. Once your husband calms down (and you), you may want to consider leveling with your kids before they discover it on their own. Of course, only you can make that decision for your family... and I know you have their best interest at heart. Even if bmom takes the info down, if the bdaughter ever decides to search, it wouldn't be hard for her to find her siblings on her own. I'm sure you've noticed that many adoptee desire a relationship with their bsiblings.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm an adoptee, and even though I do know my bfamily's identity, I haven't made contact.
Bless you. I admire the way you're handling things. I truly do.
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