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I have not yet read "The Primal Wound", but it seems like lots of people on these boards swear by it. I am an adoptee and do not feel that I have a "primal wound". I wasn't necessarily detatched from my bmom, because she never saw or held me. She never knew that I was a girl until I called her at age 25 and told her. I do tend to have issues thinking that people will leave me, although no one really ever has. My bmom didn't leave me, Erika, she left a baby that she didn't want. It wasn't personal. It wasn't like she took me home on approval for a few days and decided she didn't like me so she took me back. (although I do realize that some adoptees were truly abandoned) I personally feel that my issues surrounding people leaving me were created in my head, only because I have been told I was adopted. I don't think it is because of some deep seeded psychological problem.
So many adoptees feel that they weren't wanted, but I feel the opposite. When I was in the fifth grade, a boy used to tease me about my parents not wanting me, so they gave me away (this was the first and only experience I ever had with someone teasing me about being adopted)...I went home everyday crying until finally one day my mother told me to go to school and when this boy made fun of me once again by telling me that I wasn't wanted, to tell him that "at least my parents picked me out, yours just got stuck with you"...after I said that to him, he never teased me again, and we remain friends to this day. (as a side note, the boy lived with alcoholic parents...his father died at a young age of cirosis...but he appeared to come from a well-to-do family and have no problems)...I said all that to say this. Everyone has issues and problems, we can't blame all of our problems on the fact that we were adopted, I for one thank God each day that he put me where he did. Exactly where I belong.
I know I was rambling, just some thoughts I wanted to share..
Erika
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