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Originally Posted by txrnr
I certainly feel for your situation. What a horrible way to find out such a secret. I hope you and your husband find a way to make peace with this. Thirty-five plus years and a family certainly indicate that there are many, many positive things going in your lives.
Secrets have a way of finding their way to the surface, and his bioson may never have an interest in finding him, or he may look one day. You may want to encourage your husband to at least prepare medical information for him, and send it to the adoption agency (or state) if possible. For many of us adoptees, this is one of the reasons we search, and something we feel we have a right too. I certainly don't believe I have a right to intrude on anyone's life, or try and force a relationship.
I'm sorry you are going through this. I truly am.
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Thank you so much for replying and you are correct that there are very many positive things about our life, but this was such an incredible intrusion , especially after the birth mother has found her child for almost a year, but still displays her birth daughter's original name on the google site for adoption.com and knows that she does not want to meet her. It does not seem to be fair for everyone involved, especially the innocent people. I need to find some peace in this as you can imagine.