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I agree with this post, as I am currently reading the book. Thinking about this, I would go on and say, if there is a "primal wound", so what? There is a strong possibility that we adoptees are STILL better off than we would have been if not relinquished. Families deal with all sorts of things, death, illness, poverty, and so on. A couple of my babies were taken from me and put in intensive care for several days. Are they wounded? I don't mean to downplay a possible "wound" for those who feel they have one, but we still have to do our best and get on with it. Dispite the negative stories that are told, I truly believe that adoption is something that really helps our world. It isn't perfect and could definately use some fine tuning. But it serves a much needed purpose in this world. To be apart from ones b-family for a lifetime is different for all of us. I have seen or heard of some happy reunions, and also some rocky ones. And some where it seems that the folks involved simply don't care for one another much. That is sad, but I understand it. I have become familiar with many b-mothers here. some from reading their posts, and some I have gotten to know personaly. Some I would LOVE to have as my b-mother, some I would never have a relationship with. when a persons value system offends me, it does not matter what their blood relationship is to me, I won't bother. I gave birth to my 5 children, I almost died once doing it. And the past 25 years have been spent raising them. If I did something, or became someone who offended them, I do not believe they owe me anything now. I continue to hold myself accountable for my actions and reactions, and I continue to make the necessary compromises to maintain our relationship. I raised them right so I really don't have to worry. If I had been in a situation where another person had raised and taught them, I would feel I had to compromise 200% more. that is my idea of unconditional love of my children. No matter if I or they are wounded or not. Love, Debi
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