I agree with you on that. Sometimes in my lifetime I actually met adoptive parents that were so wonderful and so supportive of their child wanting to know their bfamily and the people were wonderful parents.
If I hadn't seen that occasionally there would have been no way I would have gotten through the 21 years before I met my daughter without going completely crazy. I'm only about half crazy instead. :wink:
Also about the bparent getting to a point that they are interfering with the child and stuff, they definitely need to let the aparent, parent the child. The bmom being in their lives is one thing, but trying to take control is completely difrferent.
But sometimes an aparent might see something that isn't there or that isn't happening and get paranoid from misunderstanding questions, or time the bmom spends with the child or something and then they run away from the bmom without any explaination whatsoever. Leaving her to wonder what the heck happened.
The bmom then is left with having deep pain and depression set in as the result of losing her contact with her child. All because she has no right to have it if the aparent just up and decides against it.
I just feel if an aparent and bparent go into an adoption as an "open" adoption they should stay with it and the aparent shouldn't be able to break the agreement just because they don't want to share the child anymore. Or the aparent gets upset because the child starts enjoying the visits with their bmom and getting close to her and the aparent gets jealous.
I just think that an open adoption should be as enforceable as in a divorce concerning "visitiation". A parent who denies the absent parent visitation with their child can be put in contempt of court.
I think if an aparent doesn't hold to the agreement that allowed them to adopt the child in the first place then they should be held in contempt if they don't abide the open adoption with the bmom as long as the bmom wants that vistiation with the child.
But if both the aparent and bmom cooperated and did what was best for the child, the child would probably be a very happy well adjusted child in those circumstances. You know?
But I do think things have changed since the 70's and that's good to see. I wish I'd had the opportunities in my adoption situation that are out there now. I think that would have helped me so much to deal with the loss of my baby.
Rylee