[Jannyroo]

S0RRY, I'VE JUST POSTED THIS & REALISED ITS FOR OPEN ADOPTION, MINE WAS CLOSED. PLEASE DELETE IF YOU THINK ITS NOT APPROPRIATE. SORRY

"Why are you crying" - social workers when I was handing my child into their arms to see him for the last time -he was six months, and I'd given it my best shot at keeping him, help? NIL

How COULD you do that? give your child away? - solicitor

"Your kid is better off dead rather than growing up knowing its mother didn't want it" - my sister in law

Why do you feel you have to confess? - woman I'd tried to talk to about it 16 years later

you can get on with your life now, you've done the right thing - my mother (now passed away)

I'll send you an allowance to help you keep him - my father - his last words before he he emmigrated to Canada - didn't hear from him for years hence

If I'd have known you were pregnant, I would have dragged you to the abortion clinic - my grandmother (!) fathers side

You should have kept your legs closed - my father

You need more help than we can give (a well respected post adoptive organisation) - try someone more local to where you live. I was 4 months into reunion with my son. I felt dumped.

The rest, I've blanked out, I can't remember the rest. I'm still riddled with guilt, shame & inefficacy, even with the most wonderful support and delight from the friends I now have.