[Charlieanne]

Thank you all for replying to my post-it was my first one as I am a new member and was a little nervous about the kind of replies I would receive.


Some of you have commented on the fact that my children are unaware of my adoption, and to be perfectly honest it never struck me as strange that I have never discussed this with them, they were both extreamly close to my adoptive parents and my daughter especially had a very difficult time after their deaths, I think she and my son would find the fact that they were not related by blood very difficult to bare(they were the only family we had) and as a single parent its my job to protect my children,..... isn't it? But if contact was made and everything goes ok then I would tell them eventually about my adoption I just feel that they don't need to be worrying about something that may never happen. It does concern me that maybe I am using this as some kind of barrier to moving forward with making contact with my bmum.

Phoenix11 remarked "curiousity will bug you for a long time to come" This is so true and this is what has played on my mind most of my life (I was told I was adopted at the age of 9--I'm now 39) but especially over the last 10 years, since finding out where my bmum is living--I am curious to know if I look like my bmum (as both my children look just like me) and I have no-one to compare myself to. Is this normal?

making contact is the biggest decision I have ever had to make and it frightens the pants off me.

This web site has been a god send for me, making me realise that after all this time I'm not alone in my undecided state of mind.

Maybe one day I will decide to move forward but perhapes I'm not yet ready--maybe I should follow my heart and not my head but I am frightened of being rejected (again) and opening a can of worms that I can't close.

I TOLD YOU I WAS CONFUSED!!!!!!