[Jannyroo]

[quote=Emberbit]At this point, I’m doing research, considering my options. There is more than abortion, adoption, parenting, as I had originally though. There is temporary guardianship (who I would ask to do this, I don’t know, but it is theoretically at least, an option) and several other options. Making an adoption plan (which I am not yet committed to doing) is simply one possibility. quote]

Thanks for more information. The only thing I can put to you and say is that in my experience (closed adoption nearly 30 years ago) that it is good that you are considering your options, but also, be prepared for how you actually feel once your child is born. Its amazing how you actually DO feel once that little person arrives that you have nurtured in your womb. Mine was taken away from me immediately because he was premature and also because they knew I was giving him up for adoption (no parents chosen then at that stage he was to go into foster care until parents decided upon. I wasn't even told I could choose, in fact no other option but closed adoption was put to me!).

Myself and my sons father had discussed what we wanted for our child during pregnancy and we agreed that the child would be adopted. However, once I gave birth and my son was a premature baby and whisked away from me, I was up in the prem unit and holding my sons little hands (born 4lbs 40z) and urging him to fight and live.

Despite the fact I left the hospital without him, something just wasn't right and I took him out of care and tried to raise him myself. I had no support from family and social workers put the pressure on to give him up by rehousing me in an obviously ridiculous place far from anywhere. I wish I had had more information at that time and been more informed and I wish that a more temporary solution could have been found. It was for me, looking back, a drastic measure when with more encouragement and help, more short term measures may have helped me keep my son. I look back now and realise how in my case it paralysed me for life.

Giving up a child is quite something. I am happy to hear that you are considering all the options. I thought I could get on with my life and I'm amazed that it took my son to find me last year after 28 years to realise just how that relinquishment had impacted on my health, myself emotionally and my relationships with others. My background is obviously different to yours and others, but just a few thoughts that may help you in your decision making.