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Originally Posted by kelceesmom
I think we should be careful and not assume things for these celeberaties. We don't live in their lives as they don't live in ours and shouldn't assume anything about us.
If children are getting a wonderful, loving home to grow up in that is all that matters to me.
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I agree with you that we have to be careful in not assuming anything with these celebrities and I think you are right that a loving home is a good start for many children that are adopted.
However, having my son find me and my finding him 28 years on with the defensive mechanisms due to adoption as described by Nancy Verrier's The Primal Wound, Coming back to self, I think its all too true and sad that adoptees do grow up with complex issues arising from adoption and sometimes love from an adoptive mother is not enough to stop those issues from arising (no blame being apportioned here, its just what happens). Whether the adoptee expresses it by acting out or being compliant, I wish that all adoptive mothers are aware of this and I think the contributions to this thread is trying to highlight this.
As a birthmother, I applaud adoptive mothers for what they take on and the terrific job many do in raising their sons/daughters. What I do find sad in my case and its been noted elsewhere and I don't think that my son is an isolated case, that despite the love and commitment to their adopted children, adoption brings such complicated issues in later life.
I think most of us would hope that celebrities are aware of this and get through the crucial teenage years when this is likely to happen. As highlighted already, one would hope that they are ready when the cute baby/child stage is passed and the crux of adoption issues surfaces when they reach adolescence and start questioning their identity and origins. No offence meant, but I think there is considerable concern here. I think adoptees more than anyone know what I mean.