Well, I finally made an attempt to open up the lines of communication with my birth mom about my birth father & my half sister that was adopted out of the family. I don't know how she'll respond yet since I chose to do it over email, 1. because I was nervous about bringing up the subject and 2. so she has some time to process the emotions thinking about the past might bring up. But I did it, and even if she doesn't tell me anything, at least she now knows I'm searching, and in my opinion that should make it okay for me to continue my search and possibly talk to other family members about it, who might be able to give me information. Because at least now I would not be going behind her back!

I know it might seem silly that it was so hard for me to talk to my bmom about this, especially when I want to know about my sister so much, but somewhere along the line the desire to make everyone happy got ingrained in me. And I know me bringing this up with my bmom is not exactly going to make her happy, at least not at first.