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You haven't seen her since Christmas? Have you had any communication with her at all? I ask because I think that first of all, it's important to make sure your relationship with her is on a good footing.
I would recommend that your girlfriend ask to see her Guardian ad Litem. If she doesn't have one, she needs to send a letter to her social worker requesting one, and if there's no action, go to the next court hearing on her case and request one directly from the judge. The GAL acts as her attorney, and can help her ask the court for whatever services and protections she needs.
I think that however strict or unemotional her foster mom is, your girlfriend needs to gut it out and finish high school. Without a HS diploma, she's condemned to a life of poverty and struggle. Please do NOT encourage her to run off and leave high school---you are not helping her if you do that, you're damaging her!
On the topic of strict, though: have you thought that maybe the Fmother is doing what she believes is right to help your girlfriend? It could be that the problem is in your gf's perception, not the Fmom's behavior. I think all 18 year olds complain about "strict" parents, if the parents are doing the parenting job!
I also agree with the previous poster who suggested having the older sister become licensed as a kinship care provider through DSS. This could give all the kids access to money and services while having them live with a family member.
Good luck!
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