[Archive]

Originally Posted By Waiting in TN

I wondered if some of you who have already adopted could share your experiences and suggestions about what to tell people who ask those sometimes innocently curious, but often uncomfortable questions about your adopted child. "Does she have any problems?" "Do you know much about her past?" We don't have a placement yet, but may be getting close, and I know that having other kids tease her about her past was a big source of hurt for the little girl we may get. And I'd like to keep most of the details private. But how do you nip those discussions in the bud without appearing rude yourself?

People are already asking me those questions, and I'm fumfering around with awkward speeches about protecting her privacy, etc., that probably make her past sound worse than it is. My husband came up with a quirky idea, to stave off those type of questions. He said, "Let's just tell them she's the daughter I didn't know I had!" You know, a brief encounter with a woman who never told him she had his baby, but just contracted a fatal illness or something and tracked him down. Have we been watching too many B movies? I have a hard time deceiving people and rarely try to, but this seems to me like a situation where if it helped avoid more pain for this child it may be worth considering? Anyway, I'd appreciate any feedback y'all can give us on this.