[mrsred]

montysmum, I am so happy for you. Just asking, and searching is such a big first step. As you get to know our Father better you will soon discard the idea that you wre being punicsed by infertility. Our Father loves us, he does not want us to be in pain. When we our circumstances don't change it does mean that He is using the circumstance. In this case, He is using the circumstance of your infertility to draw you closer to Him.
If you are truly looking to bring God into your life I would recommend you do three things. First, find a church to attend. Yes, we can believe without belonging to a church, but if we truly want to grow we need Christian fellowship. Next, start reading your Bible on a daily basis. It doesn't matter exactly what you read, just make sure you find time to read from your Bible every day. there is Power in His Word. And finally, find ways to immerse yourself by changing your TV channel at least part of the time to a Christian network (I like Daystar), tuning your radio station to a good Christian station, and finding Christian reading materials. I really like both Joel Osteen and Joyce Meyer, but there are a lot of really good books to help you build your relationship. They both have excellent websites too, where you can watch some of their teachings.
Luke 11:9-10 says "...Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks recieves; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.