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Gina,
Last year I helped another adoptee who was wanting to find her bmom. I felt SO horrible for her because of what I found. Her bmom is mildly retarded, has to live with a care taker, can't cook, manage her money etc. For whatever reason, this bmom had not had contact w/ her own family in many years. She also did not have any other children. A HUGE part of why I felt so guilty, was because I knew if it had happened to me, I would have felt responsible for her. A child should not have to feel like that. Reunion is a very emotional thing, and both you and your bmom deserve to have your needs met. What do you do though, when you find a bmom that functions like an 8 year old or a 5 year old? They are not capable of reciprocating. Have you gotten your non-id info from the agency that you were adopted through? If you haven't, you need to call and request it. At the same time, you need to see if they will tell you the extent of her retardation. You could always search for her, and try to gauge her abilities for yourself, from afar. Maybe find out if she works, where she works, who she lives w/ etc. If what you find doesn't look good, I would have to say to leave it alone.
I did a search a few years back, and found that the bmom's son had recently died. As painful as that is, I still felt 100% worse, when I found that mentally retarded bmom.
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