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It's my belief that the first thing people who want to become parents should do is sit down and decide what "type" of child they could best parent.
Almost everybody believes they could parent a child who arrives as a healthy newborn and has the same racial and ethnic heritage they themselves have. But, that usually limits the field quite a bit. The more you can be flexible on any of those, the more chances there will be to adopt a child.
First, you can start by examining what you mean by "infant". Does it have to be newborn? Straight from the hospital? Or could the infant be as old as 4 months--6 months--10 months?
And consider race--does the child's race and ethnic background matter to you or your family? Does it matter to your local schools, church, neighborhood, or group of friends? Are there any barriers to you adopting a child of a different race?
What about known health issues? Could you parent a child with a physical deformity? (Anything from cleft lip to a missing limb) What about an illness? (anything from asthma to HIV, contageous or not, life-limiting or not) What about a learning disability? What about mental problems? What about a child who had been abused?
What about UNknown health issues? Could you parent a child with a genetic predisposition to any of the health issues you considered above? What about a child whose family health history is completely unknown?
What kind of relationship would you want your child to have with his/her birth family? Complete openness--where they know each other all their lives and exchange information throughout, Partial openness--where they know OF each other, and some information, questions, and pictures can pass through an intermediary, or No openness at all--you may not even meet them, child will have no information other than what was available at the time the parents surrendered their rights. Or some combination of those?
How permanent do you want the plans to be the first time you meet the child? Do you want the adoption final the week you meet the child? Do you want the support of a worker in the first months the child is home? Are you willing to risk having a child removed from your home?
Lastly, how important is the cost? If you absolutely had to, could you scrape up several thousand dollars in the next year or two? Or is that an impossibility?
Once you have your list of things you could best deal with in a child, you can take that list and compare it to the types of children available through different routes of adoption. Search the internet for any reading--read all the archived questions and answers on these boards. Call all the agencies in your area and ask for information packets on the types of adoption they handle. Attend orientation sessions at different agencies, and see which handles the adoption of the type of child you're looking for. It will be an overload of information at first, but it will slowly sort itself out and the road you're most comfortable with will be made clear.
Good luck!
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