[bromanchik]

My son, and his adoptive family, refers to me as his birthmom. It is used respectfully and we have loving relationships, so it works.

I do not see the term as meaning that I only gave birth. I see it as Mom by birth. My son has two moms. One by birth, the other by adoption. He has one set of parents who parent him. He sees it that way too.

BTW, I told him about the controversy over the word birthmom and he said "You have got to be kidding! Changing a name is not going to change how people are treated. It is not really going to matter what they are called if it is said with bad intent." I tend to agree. Being "First Mom" is not going to give me respect from people who are hateful towards mothers who place/have lost their babies to adoption. Changing hearts is so much more difficult than changing the language.
Then again, if it changes the way you feel about yourself it can be a good thing. Empowering.

The exception to this, of course, is when the word is improperly used... such as using the title birthmother for an expectant mother. But you've heard me blather on that point before.