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Hi Gina -
My birthmother found me 11 years ago and when I first met her I knew something was "off" but couldn't place what was "off". I don't have much contact with her anymore except for letters and maybe a yearly phone call, but when we were in contact it was as if I was the mother and she was the child. I found out about 4 years ago that my bmother is high functioning autistic and also has bipolar. That was a big ah ha moment for me finally knowing what was "off" with my bmom. You have an advantage imo in that you already know that your bmother might be special needs. It was realllllyyyyy tough for me in the beginning of our reunion not knowing this information. I would cry a lot because she was unable to offer any emotional support to me but constantly expected it from me. I would also cry at the hurtful comments she would make. Now I realize her behavior was a product of her diabilities so it has been easier to forgive and let go. You are not being shallow by any means in wondering if you should make contact with your mom. It has been an extra challenge for me because of my mom's disabilities.
I hope my post helps you with your decision.
michelle
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