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You know what? I thought about this long and hard last night after posting. Now after reading about akcsyke's post about "trust no one but yourself" I can see somewhat of a correlation. I was left as a newborn with nuns for the first 3 months of my life. All that was provided were minimal basic need, nothing more. No one to cuddle, bond or attatch with. All my life I was somewhat of a loner and then into adulthood I considered myself "A strong independant woman" needing no one but myself. I think that stems from my early beginings of having no choice but to be left to my own ways of getting by , sort of a survival skill.
That said, these "skills" have followed through my entire life and infltrated every aspect of any and all my relationships. Understandably, it would definately affect trust and intimacy.
I am in the exact same boat as Fauxgina. I ony had sex when I felt it was my "duty" and NEVER ever found anything remotely enjoyable about it. the sad thing is that even if I could go forever without sex, it did have an affect on my partner. How could he not take it personal despite my every attempt to explain that it wasn't him.
It got to apoint where I felt like I was being held hostage and I had to get out of the relationship. That is just another remnant of how adoption has affected my life. One day I can be madly in love and the next day I can walk away like the person never existed.
Believe me, none of this had to do with my aparents as they are the best people ever and were fantastic parents. I do think though any and all of these issues are a direct result of the first 3 months of my life and the coldbloodedness of my nmom. Lets not forget that I grew up knowing her as she was my a mom's sister.(I just didn't know she was my nmom for 48 years)
Maryann
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