[fauxgina]

Hi all, I've got a question for adoptees whose birthmothers are mentally retarded to any degree. I'm not using the term as a derogatory one, but to refer to women whose mental capacity has been, well, retarded.

The reason I ask is that I'm scared to even search for my birthmother because my adoptive parents have told me that she is "mildly retarded." I'm not sure what that means (i.e., which mental capacities are affected), but it may be one of the factors resulting in my relinquishment. I'm scared that she won't be "adult" enough to handle a reunion, or to be able to give me the support I'll need if we ever try to establish a relationship. I don't want to have to mother my birthmother. It's selfish, and perhaps I'm being a bit shallow and/or naieve, but I honestly don't know if I should bother. I don't want to seem cruel, but I've had enough problems in my life, you know? Has anyone had experience with this sort of thing? I'd love to hear about it. My apologies if I offend anyone, because I'm just asking an honest question; I can't help my ignorance regarding this.

Many thanks,
Gina