[laleela66]

I am so angry right now! For the second time in six months I have had a black woman challenge my right to be a parent to my two children of color.

My children, Stella (6) and Drew (4), were adopted at birth via open adoption. My husband and I seperated about 1 year ago and we have all had a very hard time adjusting. The pending divorce has brought up a lot of issues for the kids - naturally, they're worried that if mommy and daddy don't have to stay together, maybe they don't get to stay with either of us. It's been a long, difficult, emotional time, but with a lot of work, love and the help of a good therapist, we're getting back on track and the kids are happier and feeling more secure again.

Stella has been working on self-esteem issues as well. She is a beautiful little girl, but her dark skin gets her more glances than her lighter-skinned brother gets and her natural shyness and sensitivity make this extra attention very hard for her. On top of all this, I had a woman approach me at a local restaurant and, bristling with anger and emotion, ask me why I "wanted these kids" right in front of my children! Stella burst into tears and told the woman that she hated her skin color. I feel this woman undid months and months of effort to help my daughter love her beautiful brown self.

I understand that there are African-Americans who are against multiracial families, just as there are people of every race that are against such families, but the damage done by such encounters is deep and lasting. Why is it so hard for some people to believe that we love our children for who they are?