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Originally Posted by SchmennaLeigh
Obviously, this is a poll FOR birth parents however the discussion itself is open to all AS LONG as discussion remains respectful to each individual's personal preference as to what they prefer to be called.  |
I really am not sure what Bug or Roo's First Mom's prefer or call themselves. As much as I'd like to know, we haven't been able to get that kind of relationship yet to have that conversation or for me to hear them say it. However, Bug's First Mom signed the letters she sent to Bug in the beginning with her first name. Roo's First Mom has signed the few and treasured letters she's sent... Love, MomV (obviously her first initial). I am fine with whatever they're fine with.
I use First Mom (and separated as two words... I'm not sure who suggested to do that, maybe Jenna ~ oh wise one! ~ because otherwise it changes the Mom part. I like First Mom/Parents because to me, it shows respect to the person who indeed, first parented my children. They made the first and most important decision ever in the lives of their and our children. I use First Mother so I never forget that and so my kids know the respect and honor given their First Parents.
I have used Other Mother on my blog from time to time, because it connotes the fact that my children indeed have two mothers.
As for the frustration of some aparents with the "real" or "natural" terms, I don't see how either is offensive if it is what someone wants to call themselves this or that. We're all real. Calling one real and the other not doesn't decrease the realness of who we are.
And as for "natural", I'll be blunt... giving birth is the natural way for a child to come into a family. And the opposite word most people choose is "unnatural" and therefore get offended because it implies "wierd" or "not quite right" I guess. But adoption in whatever way you see it is unnatural. It believe it to be necessary in some situations but the natural way would be for a child to stay with the parents who gave birth to them. That is how things were created to be.
Okay, I'll shut up now... I've had a blog post started on this for ages, every time I see a discussion on it. And I never hit post! Maybe I will soon...