Hi,

I was adopted by my maternal grandparents, so I know that side of my family, as well as my birth mother. However, I would like to meet some of my other relatives. Particularly, a half sister I know that I have. She was born to my birth mother when I was about 3 and was adopted outside our family. My birth mom moved in with us while she was pregnant, but I guess I was too young to remember the pregnancy, because I did not know anything about my sister until I was 11.

My adopted mother told me, but she gave me very little information. She knew the city where my sister was adopted, but could not remember for sure what they named her. Well, my adopted mother died when I was 12, so she is not here to support me in my hope to find my sister.

I know I probably need to talk to my birth mom about it, but the truth is, I'm afraid to. She does NOT talk about these things with anyone. She has 2 more children now with a man she married, and she could not even tell them why I lived with Grandpa instead of them. They had to ask me. They thought I chose to leave our mother. I want to think she has information about my sister, but who knows since she is so closed up about it. I think some of my other relatives might actually have received updates about her from the adoptive family. I am working up the courage to talk to them about it, but I know that even if I do, at some point I will have to talk to my mother about it. It is also kind of a bad time to bring things up with her as she is going through a divorce.

Then there are also the issues of whether or not my sister wants to meet me, how her adopted family would feel about it, etc. I will be 21 soon, so I am guessing that my sister is 17 or 18. I don't know what to do. I really want to find her but I am worried about confrontation, with my family and with her adopted family, as well as my sister herself. I worry that she might be angry that I was adopted by family while she was given away. My husband has been very supportive but I would like to get advice from someone who might be able to relate to my situation. Thank you.