Hi Ann, you are so right. I've only told 3 close friends, one of whom I work with so I was a little hesitant as I didn't want it to affect my work. I shouldn't have worried too much as she has her own personal baggage and I think I purposely picked the people I did as I was almost certain they would be supportive. Unfortunately, our friends who we holiday with and spend a good deal of time with are very judgmental and it is likely that our friendship will end (comments about others that were in my situation over the years regarding how they should be punished). It's odd but they are the ones that I really want to tell - not sure why but probably because I am tired of keeping secrets.
The shame is "dissolving" a bit as once I say it out loud it doesn't seem to be such a big deal, not sure why that is? I'm wondering if it is because I'm actually very proud of my bson and what he has become and want everyone to know about him. My youngest daughter actually reflected my feelings by telling me that she wants to shout if from the rooftop! Could it be that the decision I wrestled with and regretted all these years allowed him to be successful and I can finally let go?? Does that make any sense? Besides, if friends fall to the wayside then I guess they weren't really true friends and I would trade any of them in a second for what I'm hoping is a lifetime relationship with my bson. Of course, that's easy to say without them staring blankly at me, saying something mean and walking away! Courage! I'm so happy for Quantum and I'm going to see my bson again at the end of the month. Although it is a long drive, we seem to be doing OK contact wise but I know from posts and reading that the first 6 months are not indicative of how things will always be so I'm going to enjoy it while I can and hopefully lay the groundwork for a stable relationship. All the best.
