[vicrose]

Hi Val, I am only suggesting this because I have had this similar experience. My children were 2 1/2 years and 3 weeks old when they're father decided to run off with another woman, and has seen them very little since then. And then all of a sudden this year when they turned 13 and 10, he decided that he wanted to come around more often and try to disrupt the normal life that my husband and I have tried so hard to give them. Well, my ex-husband was a drug abuser and a drinker, and I know for a fact that he's never sought out any rehabilitation, because he never thought he had a problem. I have always let they're grandmother have visitation time with them, because I never wanted it to be said that I ever kept them from her, and they do love her, but as far as my ex-husband visiting with them-I have always made sure that the grandmother was there with the children during the visits, because I just didn't trust him, he's very irresponsible. My husband and I have never talked badly about the children's father, but his lack of visits over the years has definitely taken a toll on the kids, they never ask about about him, only they're grandmother. So, I wouold leave it up to the kids whether they wanted to visit, but being that they haven't seen him in such a long time, I would definitely opt for supervised visits, because you do have to be careful. Good luck with whatever decision you make. You have made a good home for your children, don't let this father start making demands. Sincerely, Brenda