[SilverWitch]

I read your post and was touched by it. You see, my daughter and I have the exact opposite problem.

I spent many years attempting to drink myself to death on her birthday. She seems to have no problem with it.

I am giving and talkative and the world is about her...never me. If I have a bad day, she is all "And?" Like what I feel is unimportant.

The worst part is that we both feel stuck in time. It is one of the things she actually talked to me about - but not directly - she was upset about friends and life and that she always felt that she was standing still. Just like me. My side of the conversation went unheard...as if I was not there except to hear her.

This appears to be normal for her. I sent her a handmade afghan. I made it in her favorite color for her birthday...worked day and night to make sure she got it on time....it was late, not my fault postal error. For my birthday, she did not call - not for three days...then it was about her and her husband...not to say happy birthday.

I have given up trying to be mom - at times I act like a sad child, I still am in many ways trapped in the time of her birth and the three years of hell fighting to keep her.

I want to work through our adoption crap - she acts as if its over and no big deal - but when she is angry she beats me with it.

All I can tell you is that a large number of young women had babies and then stayed babies because their hearts were torn out when their children were taken. I don't excuse her behavior, but I say this, I spend a great deal of time forgiving my daughter....it may be the only way I can live with me.

You do what you feel is right. But you are saying you can't live without her, so you might have to drag her into your world to show her love.

Just my thoughts.