[enmenc]

Hello,

My husband and I have one biological daughter who is 9. We stopped TTC through IUI/IVF two years ago due to lack of success with IUI and age issues. I am now 45.

I can't get having a second child out of my head! Therefore, I've begun researching adoption from Russia as an option for us.

Given the fact that accredidation (sp?) is an issue and we'd have a huge age spread between our children and the fact that our second child wouldn't be biologically related to us--not to mention the expense of it all--my DH and I are going round and round in circles about what to do.

We'd most likely consider adopting from Russia, because we are of Eastern European decent. We'd like to adopt a girl.

Have any of your adopted after secondary infertility? How have you all adjusted? How long did everything take from start to finish? Did your decision and the subsequent adoption of your child finally end the pain of not having a/another biological child? How did your families react to the news that you were considering adoption?

Have your Rabbis been helpful and supportive?

I know that my in-laws would be supportive. I doubt my family would be. Maybe they'd come around over time--but I've already heard things like you don't need that, and you don't know what you are getting, when mentioning adoption in passing.

Of course you don't know what you are getting when you are pregnant either. I have a learning disability and when I was first born my eye turned in, my neice has sensory integration issues, my best friend's son is slightly autistic. I wonder if they'd be able to attach themselves to the adopted child?

If you've adopted from Russia, have you faced issues related to fetal alcohol syndrome?

Any thoughts or suggestions you might have would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks!

Jessica