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You need to negotiate before the adoption is finalized. Get him to as many specialists as possible. Have everything checked. Can you check the mom's police record? Our girl's mom had a drunken disorderly and several other types of arrests when pregnant. You can usually tell if the child has FASD facial features. Look for the small eyes, flat philtrum (the area between the nose and mouth) and the thin, upper lip. Even if there are no features, the child could still have ARND. Those symptoms don't always manifest themselves until later. Our dd did not start to fall behind developmentally until about 3 1/2. When we adopted her she was fine.
Is he involved in early intervention? Make sure that the therapists and doctors document everything. Try to get Medicaid at least and put a provision in the agreement that you will be able to come back and request help if issues arise later.
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Becki in IN
mom to two great girls, ages 13 and 10 1/2, both adopted
and foster-adoptive mom to their little brother, age 19 mos.
foster mom from 12/90 to 12/99
13 mos and still waiting to be licensed this time (what is going on with that!!!)
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