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Originally Posted by annelizly
I drove to the hospital today because my Amom was taken there by ambulance. I didn't know if she was going to make it or not but as I drove I realized that if she died I would basically be an orphan  (adad passed 11 years ago)
I realized that although this is a moment most people go through, I seemed to think that it was harder for me being an adoptee.
I have met my bdad and his family and they are nice and we keep in touch but because there was no shared history I never quite felt like a "real" part of their family.
My bmom wants nothing to do with meeting me.
I don't know how I am going to handle it when she passes because I don't feel that amoms family will really be all that interested in keeping in contact once amom is gone. It will be like losing all my family at once.
does this make sense to anyone? |
Your story is like mine. I lost my afather many years ago. I found out my bmother but she did not want anything to do with me. I lost my my amother and felt like a orphelan. There was a big whole for a while and the grief was overwhelming. I think like you about being adoptee for us any lost are difficult to deal with. Like in the book "The Primal Wound" is mention that we have some abandonment issues and we suffer from trauma by being separate from our bmother. I believe in healing ourselves. I have not meet too many people in my life who had a perfect family! We all need to do some healing and for us it is a bit more deeper.
I feel that I am in the right path and by dealing and healing I will be a whole person. I see a difference all ready. I can be present with myself wich for me is a miracle. I used to be a human doing now I am becoming more a human being.
Hope that It help you,
Vivi