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I honestly think people can handle far more than they think they can. I think if someone had told me before I got P that I could handle a kid like M, I might not have beleived it. Now, I have no problem. While it's true it does limit us far more than we would have thought, adn as he gets older it will get harder. This country is not nearly as wheelchair accessable as we think it is. Most restaraunts for example and some stores are not really good, things are too close together for a power chair. To go to the dentist I have to park in the back (blocking in all the empolyees) and take him in the back. The cost of driving the big van and other things that we had not really considered are frustrating, but we would not consider changing.
Here is something interesting. When I told people we were going to get M, Some of the people who were the most shocked and had semi negative reactions were bio parents of kids similarly disabled. One parent I know was supportive right away and all the adoptive parents of such kids. One mom finally explained it me, (she did become supportive later as they all did when he was actually home) she said that she had not chosen this life and often wishes things were different and that her child had been born whole, plus there is the guilt that perhaps there was something she did to cause it. Since she would give anything to have a healthy child, she did not get why I given a choice would choose this life. I can't explain it either. I do remember specifically saying, I wanted to adopt a child whom no one else wanted. I did not want a newborn that had people lined up. Let them have the newborns, I have had that experience and though I love, love, love babies, I will give that to someone else. Right now, I would adopt more, but I think we have found dh's limit.
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