[mommy2jillian]

Hey ladies, just thought I would add my 2 cents as a child of rape, my mom dated the jerk for a year before it happened and was 16 yrs old... I am 35 and have over the years had contact with him, I have a sister and 2 brothers that I had contact with for a few years when we were older. From my end my mom told me from the start what my situation was and I have always know the truth, On the few occasions that I did see "Him" he tried to tell me mom was lying but I never believed it because I had too many people saying the same thing and over the years my mom's story NEVER waivered. I think it is important to be honest early on even though as a kid I didn't get the full concept I still knew. I was afraid when I was younger that I would be violent as he is a violent person toward not only my mom but another lady after her (one of my brothers was a child of rape too but doesn't know it and had weekly visits) and was abusive to my other two bio siblings mother as well. I can't answer how your child will react but I can say that you need to be truthful out of the gate or they might feel that you ar not being up front should they meet their bio-father. I feel that as a woman now I adjusted well to the knowledge that I had but do think that men have a harder time healing from this type of situation. I didn't seek therapy for that particular subject but when I was raped at 20 I did and some anger I didn't know I had from my mom's rape came out not at her but in that I felt dirty and was angry at him for it. Just let your children know that they are loved and that you NEVER regret how they were born and that they are miracles that saved you. God bless you for going through this as my mom did because I know it would have been very easy to abort in a case like this and you are very strong and brave for raising your children. If any of you wan to P.M. me you can feel free I am pretty open about it. One last thing you might be askign yourselves...Why did my brother maintain contact with biofather and didn't ...I was adopted by my dad only at age 1 and my brother was raise by a single mom that granted visitation. I never felt the need to see Bfather cause I had my dad and my parents would let me go when I wanted to out of curiousity, which wasn't very often, maybe 5 times in my 35 yrs have I been around the man.