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Originally Posted by sprunger1
Does anyone have advice on how to make changes once the child has had so much freedom in the home?? Do we just sit him down and explain that things are going to change? Do we just start making the changes and expect him to get it as he goes?? I know we're supposed to "keep them on their toes".
I started yesterday with making sure he walks either beside me or behind me.. But of course his response is "well then I'll just walk WAY behind you."...ARGH!!!
Help is SO appreciated!!
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There's a couple of books I'd like to recommend...
"Parenting the Hurt Child"
and
"Adopting the Hurt Child"
by Dr. Keck and Regina Kupecky
We have two RAD children and when we had to take away freedom in the beginning, Regina explained it to the kids that she was going to help Mom and Dad help them to learn to be in a family and this is what we needed to do. (our children lived 2 years in an orphanage)
I was surprised, they actually accepted the changes even though they were extremely ODD.
One thing that really worked for us was....
Make what the child is doing what you want because they do not want to please you....
For instance you can say....
"Thank you for not following right behind me, your doing just what mommy wants. How did you know I need a little room? You're such a good boy."
They key is (and it's so hard) Don't let them know they are getting to you! Stay calm and happy.